I had just had my second baby when the lockdown happened at the beginning of COVID-19. I had always been a messy person, but now, postpartum with two kids under two, unable to leave the house, things went from messy to an unfunctional disaster pretty quick. I decided I had to come up with some systems and nothing I’d ever seen before really helped me, so I had to come up with ones that worked for my ADHD brain.
I started posting on TikTok about my weird little tips and hacks and got a huge response. Turns out there are hundreds of thousands of people who also struggled with care tasks and needed a new way to approach them. So many people reached out and said they were relieved to see a home online that looks like theirs because they felt such shame about their home — and the therapist in me kicked in. I began making videos about care tasks being morally neutral and decided to put the whole philosophy in a book so people who were looking for help could find it all in one place.
The way How to Keep House While Drowning is structured — advice for neurodivergent people, presented in a way that allows the reader to access it in the way they’re able — feels incredibly thoughtful. Can you talk about you came to this form, and what your process writing the book was like?
Yes! It's funny because people always ask "How did you decide to write a book that's so accessible for neurodivergent people to read?" and the answer is, I didn't. Primarily, I actually decided to write a book that was accessible for MY neurodivergent brain
to write. I had written the various concepts and hacks I wanted to put in the book but stared for weeks at the disjointed paragraphs having no idea how to make it into the lengthy chapters that "real" books had.
I actually decided to write a book that was accessible for MY neurodivergent brain to write.
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Then I realized, if I waited to make it a "legitimate" book, it would never be a book at all. I had to write it in the way I could write it and self-published it that way. And people said it was so easy to read. One woman even said, "I haven’t been able to read anything since my husband died five years ago, but I could read this book." So, when it came time to publish the second edition with Simon & Schuster, I knew I wanted to focus on making the book as accessible as possible. I decided to keep it short and add extra features that made it more accessible.
What does your writing process look like?
I’m not a great writer, but I am a great speaker and educator. So I made TikToks of all the concepts I wanted to be in the book, then went back and transcribed those TikToks! Then I had a jumping off place to start writing around those little transcripts.
If there’s one piece of advice you want readers to take from How to Keep House While Drowning, what would it be?
That care tasks are morally neutral — the only reason to do them is that you deserve a functional space, and making a space functional can be done even when you struggle.
Care tasks are morally neutral — the only reason to do them is that you deserve a functional space.
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Do you ever have a difficult time following your own advice?
Always.
Did writing the book change your own relationship to cleaning and taking care of yourself?
Yes. I was already pretty compassionate with myself, but writing the book inspired me to really tackle finding the systems that worked for me.
Is there anything that didn’t make it into the book that you wish had?
I don't think so. I feel really proud still to this day that the book is short but comprehensive.
What are some resources that have helped you the most? These can be books, TV shows, TikTok accounts — anything that comes to mind.
Dr. Kristin Neff, who, in my mind, is the Godmother of self-compassion. Her resources are so valuable to me.
What’s been bringing you joy recently?
I’m trying my hand at writing a fantasy book! I don't know if it will ever be something I bring to market, but it's been a fun hobby.
What are you working on next? Any future writing projects in the works?
Besides my hobby writing, I am currently working on a proposal for my next self-help book. So, stay tuned!
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KC Davis is the bestselling author of
How To Keep House While Drowning (Simon Element). A licensed therapist, she is the creator of the popular
Struggle Care website and
Instagram, and the Domestic Blisters
TikTok, where she shares her revolutionary approach to self and home care for those dealing with mental health issues, physical illness, and hard seasons of life. Across platforms, KC has more than 1.5 million followers. KC has been featured in
The Washington Post, O Magazine, Slate, Well + Good, Good Inside with Dr. Becky, Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris, among dozens of other media. She recently launched the podcast,
Struggle Care, which is available on every podcast platform. KC Davis lives in Houston with her husband and two daughters.