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Growing up, I wasn’t allowed to watch much TV, because my dad believed it would rot my brain. Still, he made an exception for the stuff he liked — noir, detective stories, Hitchcock. Even before I could understand the dialogue, I could feel these films in my body. The creeping scores and the dark shadows. A close-up of a face in terror and a sudden scream. They were visceral, and they were my first introduction to the power of thrillers.

As an adult, I watch lots of movies. I’m married to a man who has an MFA in film and a Criterion account (send prayers). I am making up for lost time and pausing, when I feel stirred by a film, to figure out how its gears are working so that I can take it apart, the same way I would a story.

This list represents eight movies — contemporary and classic — that are in conversation with my debut in one way or another. Rabbit Hole follows Teddy Angstrom, whose life begins to unravel in the wake of her father’s suicide when she takes up his demented investigation into her sister’s cold case disappearance. The films below all raise questions about grief, family, memory, and obsession, that are similar to the ones I ask in the book.

Chinatown (1974)

As Teddy falls further down Reddit rabbit holes, looking for answers about what happened to her sister, Angie, she encounters one particularly suspicious user: ForgetItJake. I took this username from the famous last scene of Chinatown, where Jack Nicholson’s partner tells a horrified Nicholson: “Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown.” I chose this reference for the most important username in the book for a couple of reasons. Firstly, John Huston’s monstrous father character resembles Teddy’s worst nightmare — the version of her father that already exists inside the minds of the Redditors obsessed with her family. Secondly, the shock and disillusionment that Jack experiences in that scene highlight the pain of knowing. Teddy’s after the truth, but can she handle the truth? (Oh wait… different Nicholson.)

Zodiac (2007)

If I had a dream director for Rabbit Hole, it would be David Fincher (David, have your people call my people), and Zodiac is his masterpiece. It’s an eerie, unsettling crime story that focuses on the psychological repercussions of not-knowing. When I thought about how I wanted to end Rabbit Hole, I thought about Zodiac. How could I buck the conventions of a typical thriller and tell a story that felt true in its messiness? How could I transfer some of Teddy’s madness onto the reader?

The Vanishing (1988)

Shout-out to my cousin John for the rec on this one! Spoorloos or The Vanishing is a Dutch film, subtitled in English, that follows a young couple, Rex and Saskia. When Saskia vanishes at a gas stop, Rex begins to unravel. The movie asks questions about grief in the face of “eternal uncertainty,” and it explores the way human relationships are distorted by major loss. It also uses dreams in a way that I absolutely love (I’m forever team dream sequence), and it has one of the spookiest, Poe-iest endings of any movie I’ve seen. If you like this one, check out The Quiet Tenant by Clémence Michallon.

The Secret of Roan Inish (1995)

This lovely Irish film was my most loved VHS. It follows a young girl whose baby brother has gone missing. Soon, she finds out that she comes from a long line of selkies, and she starts to believe she can locate her brother. There is a scene in the book where Teddy thinks about her Irish mother’s selkie bedtime stories, and she imagines herself as a seal, moving through endless dark water. The symbol of the selkie has always been alluringly melancholic to me, and I credit that obsession to early, repeat viewings of Roan Inish.

Aftersun (2023)

I watched this movie after I was done working on Rabbit Hole, but I have to include it on this list. So much of Teddy’s anxiety in the book stems from her sense that her father and her sister continue to erode, even after their respective death and disappearance. Teddy’s memories are distorted by her age, by after-the-fact information, and by other people’s accounts, which means that the real Angie and the real Mark are ever slipping away. Director Charlotte Wells captures the way that memory shifts with age and the way that our parents can feel both closer and further away as we approach adulthood. A beautiful, brilliantly acted film about grief and intimacy.

Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

It’s like Teddy says in the book: “you shouldn’t be able to love bad men.” Alas, here I am with another Polanski movie. The Levin novel is such a perfect, tight thriller, but somehow the movie is even better. It’s definitely the most loyal adaptation I’ve ever seen of a source text, and Polanski’s weird combination of vulnerability and cynicism really shine in the contrast between a doe-eyed Mia Farrow and the terrifying Bramford building. See also: Monsters by Claire Dederer.

The Invitation (2015)

I wrote much of the first draft of Rabbit Hole in 2018, when I was on maternity leave from teaching. When the baby napped, I’d put a quiet horror movie on in the background, and I’d use the tense, strings-heavy soundtrack to keep me focused and get in a thriller headspace. The Invitation quickly became one of my favorites. Karyn Kusama’s low-budget, underrated film is about grief, belonging, and mysterious weirdos. It has one of the greatest ending shots in modern horror, and it’s definitely worth a watch.

Enemy (2013)

I knew right from the start of Rabbit Hole that I wanted to play with the gothic trope of doppelgangers. Mickey, Teddy, and Angie all double one another at various points in the book, and as Teddy descends further into her paranoia, the fun-house effect of the doppelgangers grows and grows. In Enemy, Jake Gyllenhaal plays a man who becomes obsessed with his own doppelganger after seeing an actor in a rented movie who closely resembles him. It’s an odd, Kafka-esque neo-noir by Denis Villeneuve. Another one with an ending shot that I think about all the time.